It Sucks to Be Me: Maximum Ride Style
by streco
Summary: The Maximum Ride version to the song It Sucks to Be Me. XD pretty funny.


_What Do You Do with a Blog and a Laptop / It Sucks to Be Me: Maximum Ride Style_

**A/N: **XD Iggy's verse goes to my cousin Sara... I wrote the rest.

— —

**Fang:** WHAT DO YOU DO  
WITH A BLOG AND A LAPTOP?  
WHERE IS MY FLIGHT GOING TO LEAD?  
SO MANY READERS,  
SO MANY BLEEDERS  
WHO POUR OUT THEIR HEART ONTO ME  
THE LADIES ARE SO-SO.  
THE GUYS THINK I'M COOL, YO.  
THE SKY IS A WIDE, OPEN PATH  
AND MAX DOESN'T LIKE ME  
THE FLOCK THINKS I'M EMO.  
AND NO ONE CAN DO SIMPLE MATH.

_(musical transition; faster)_

**Max: **Morning, Iggy!

**Iggy: **Hi, Max!

**Max: **How's life?

**Iggy: **Dissapointing.

**Max: **Why, what's the matter?

**Iggy: **The Gasman laid me off.

**Max:** Aww, I'm sorry.

**Iggy: **Me too. I mean, look at me—I'm a blind mutant freak! I always thought—... _d'oh_.

**Max: **What?

**Iggy: **No, it sounds stupid.

**Max: **Aww, c'mon!

**Iggy: **WHEN I WAS LITTLE,  
I THOUGHT I WOULD BE—

**Max: **What?

**Iggy: **A BIG TIME ARCHITECT  
THAT MADE GOOD MONEY

**Max: **_(snicker)_ Oh...

**Iggy: **BUT NOW I'M BLI-I-IND  
AND AS _YOU _CAN SEE... I'M NOT.

**Max: **Nope.

**Iggy: **Oh well.  
IT SUCKS TO BE ME.

**Max: **No!

**Iggy: **IT SUCKS TO BE ME.

**Max: **C'mon.

**Iggy: **IT SUCKS TO BE  
BLIND AND  
BUILDING BOMBS  
AND TURNING FI-IFTEEN!  
IT SUCKS TO BE ME.

**Max: **You think your life sucks?

**Iggy: **I think so.

**Max: **Your problems aren't so bad!  
I'M KINDA PRETTY  
AND PRETTY DAMN NUTS!

**Iggy: **You are.

**Max: **Thanks...?  
I TALK TO VOICES AND  
I'M A TOTAL CLUTZ!  
WHEN I OPEN ONE DOOR  
THE OTHER ONE SHUTS;  
SO WHY WON'T NOBODY HELP ME?  
HECK! IT SUCKS TO BE ME!

**Iggy: **Me too!

**Max: **IT SUCKS TO BE ME.

**Iggy: **IT SUCKS TO BE ME  
IT SUCKS TO BE IGGY—

**Max: **AND MAX!

**Iggy: **TO NOT HAVE MY EYES—

**Max: **TO BE CALLED A 'FAX'—

**Both:** IT SUCKS TO BE ME.

_(Ari and Jeb enter, fighting)_

**Iggy: **Hey, Jeb, Ari—can you settle something for us? Do you have a second?

**Ari: **Um, certainly.

**Max: **Whose life sucks more; Iggy's or mine?

**Ari & Jeb: **Pfffft; _ours!_

**Ari: **WE'RE SON AND FATHER—

**Jeb: **WE'RE PRETTY CLOSE, I WOULD SAY.

**Ari: **BUT I'VE BEEN PISSED AT HIM—

**Jeb: **SINCE I FUCKED 'ROUND WIT HIS DNA!

**Ari: **I'M WOLFY AND SHOULD BE  
IN THE SECOND GRADE—OHHH!  
EVERY DAY IS SAD AND PAINFUL—

**Jeb: **ARI PLEASE DON'T BE DISDAINFUL!

**Ari: **YOU FUSED MY NECK BACK,  
YOU SEWED WINGS UNDER MY SKIN.

**Jeb: **WELL YEAH—  
THAT'S ONLY CAUSE YOU LOST A FIGHT  
THAT WAS AN EASY WIN!

**Ari: **YOU MAKE ME FLY  
AND THEN I DIE IN THE END—

**Jeb: **WOE IS YOU  
I WISH I COULD DIE TOO

**All: **IT SUCKS TO BE ME! _(in a sort of round)  
_IS THERE ANYBODY HERE  
IT DOESN'T SUCK TO BE?  
IT SUCKS TO BE ME.  
DA DA DA DA DA! _(in a round)_

**ter Borcht: **Why're you all so happy?

**Iggy: **Because our lives suck!

**ter Borcht: **_Your _lives suck? Am I hearing you correctly? Ze HA!  
I AM A SCARY WHITECOAT  
WHO LOVES TO PLAY WITH WEENGZ.  
I DECIDED TO MORPH ALL OF YOU  
INTO MY FLYING TRAPEZE.  
AND NOW YOU'RE OLDER  
AND YOU MOUTH OFF TO ME  
AAAAAAND THAT'S NOT GOOD  
AND NOW I WANT YOU TO DIIIE  
AND NOW I AM FLYING HIIIGH  
AND I HAVE AN IDIOTIC ASSOCIATE  
AND NOW YOU FINALLY CAN SEE—  
IT SUCK TO BE ME!  
IT SUCK TO BE ME!  
I SAY IT SUCKA-SUCKA-SUCKA-SUCKA-  
SUCKA-SUCKA-SUCKA-SUCKA-SUCKA-SUCKA-  
SUCKA-SUCKA-SUCK!  
IT SUCK TO BE ME.

**Fang: **Hey guys... I'm a little depressed, and you singing about life sucking isn't that cool. Anyone whose life doesn't suck?

**Iggy: **Yeah, Angel—let me get her.

**Fang: **Thanks.

**Iggy: **YO, ANGEL!

**Angel: **I'm comin', I'm comin'.  
I'M SUCH AN ANGEL—  
DON'T YOU LOVE MY LOCKS OF LUST?  
I SHOULD BE LEADER OF THE FLOCK  
'CAUSE I'M BEYOND ROBUST!  
I HEAR YOUR THOUGHTS,  
I TALK TO FISH  
MAKE ANOTHER ONE BITE THE DUST—!  
NOW I'M HERE,  
TAKING ORDERS FROM BOSSY!  
SHE'S PISSING ME OFF...

**All: **IT SUCKS TO BE YOU!

**ter Borcht: **You win!

**All: **IT SUCKS TO BE YOU!

**Iggy: **I feel better now!

**Angel: **TRY HAVING PEOPLE  
STOPPING YOU TO ASK YOU,  
"What am I thinking?!"  
... it gets _old_.

**All: **IT SUCKS TO BE YOU  
YOU'RE BIRD PERCENT TWO  
(SUCKS TO BE ME)  
YOU'RE BIRD PERCENT TWO  
(SUCKS TO BE YOU)  
YOU'RE BIRD PERCENT TWO  
(SUCKS TO BE US)  
BUT NOT WHEN WE'RE TOGETHER  
WE'RE TOGETHER HERE  
WE'RE BIRD PERCENT TWO  
WE'RE HERE WE'RE BIRD PERCENT TWO  
ARE FRIENDS ARE LOONS.  
'TILL OUR WINGS ARE THROUGH  
WE LIVE AS BIRD PERCENT TWO.  
WE LIVE AS BIRD PERCENT TWO.  
WE LIVE AS BIRD PERCENT TWO.  
THE LIFE OF A BIRD PERCENT TWO!

**A/N: **XD... I had way too much fun.

Review?

--Steph.


End file.
